I Haven't Got a Chance

Note: I wrote this poem back in 1973 when I was 17. Looking back, was I really that angry and resentful then? Apparently so.......

I didn't ask to be called Douglas, I never had a say.

It was all down to the old man, he always got his way.

He's called Douglas so he must know how I feel,

I'm not sure about him but I feel bloody ill.

I didn't ask to be born, but since I had no choice,

'suppose I'd rather be alive, just; one of the boys.

I could have been born in Surrey, I could have been born in France,

But I'm sick to death of the east end, I haven't got a chance!

Capability Red          1973

Smike

Sadly he lies in an orchard all alone
in a short life he knew no joy.
He remembers a hook in the attic.
Can we help but remember our fears?
Years at Dotheboys, horror, shame.
Wake up and........nobody there.
He wasn't allowed to live
don't tell me he's dead,
a victim of prejudice
Abandoned. Forgotten
not meant for this world.
Smike my heart cries out for you
though no tears can help you now.
Perhaps you can hear this
wherever you are.
Alone he lies in an orchard.
But he looks up and smiles.
One light in his life
in his poor narrow existence,
one light.
He confided 'I've loved her'
just before he floated away.
Kate, he loved you
although he was much too frightened to say.
Poor Smike
he seeks no revenge.
Let him rest.



Capability Red               1975