The Ballad of the Poisoned Dwarf

There once was a lad named Richard, who wasn't very quick.
He was a bit slow on the uptake, so his friends all called him'Dick'.
He got a job on the buses, but he wasn't very tall.
So he applied to be an inspector, 'cos he couldn't drive a bus at all.
He thought he'd grow a beard, to make himself look tough.
But he looked more like a 'Poisoned Dwarf', he just wasn't big enough.

He booked crews for running early, or taking over late.
Or; leaving a bus unattended, he really thought it was great.
The Poisoned Dwarf had power, he told the crews who was boss.
But what he couldn't comprehend, was that nobody gave a toss.
He applied to become a 'Gold Badge', and it really caused a commotion.
When he started booking crews, 'cos he couldn't get his promotion.

He wasn't wanted at the top, they could do without the likes of him.
He was advised 'he wasn't suitable', but the Dwarf just didn't fall in.
The saga reached a climax, one murky east end night.
When the Dwarf booked a crew, for running a bus back 'light'.
The Driver leapt from his cab, and woke up his mate with a prod.
And declared "come one Floyd, I've had enough of this little sod".

They stood there face to face. The Dwarf went for his book.
The Driver gave him a 'Glasgow handshake', the Conductor swung a right hook.
It was all over in a flash, the Dwarf got what was comming to him.
But despite the presence of several crews, 'nobody saw a thing'!
So, ask the Poisoned Dwarf, this story has a moral:
A lesson for roadside inspectors: Co-operate. Don't quarrel!



CapabilityRed aprox 1983