The Wedding Reception

Whilst DJ at a wedding reception
I found time to mingle with the folks,
sink a few beers, offer them cheers,
suffer all of their jokes.

I also 'ear wigged' the gossip;
it spilled like a boil just burst,
the lads were moving fast on an ego trip
about who'd get his end away first!

I exercised a cool sense of brevity
when approached by bridesmaid Rose.
She had facial hair, that caused guests to stare
at that 'shadow' beneath her nose.

The in-laws were a race of Ogres.
The best man resembled a Yeti.
When he wasn't downing a pint
he was shoveling his face with spaghetti.

Every young married couple I spoke to,
had a son with the name Jason,
a cute little daughter called Hayley,
and knew someone, who was a freemason.

The groom was the life of the party
everyone left feeling cock a hoop.
That is, everyone except the groom himself,
he'd contracted brewers droop!

We took him home in a taxi
he was totally unaware,
and we had to leave him in the kitchen,
'cos we couldn't get him up the stairs.

The bride's face. Earlier so radiant,
was a cast of molten gloom,
she sobbed on her wedding night
all alone in her room.

By now, everyone else had gone home,
so I offered to clear up the mess.
She asked me to stay for coffee
cautiously, I said yes.

It was a tentative encounter,
neither of us knew what to say.
But we both got what we wanted,
it's funny how it worked out that way.


Capability Red aprox 1989